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Try not to act foolish this April when a couple of heavenly orbs change course. Jupiter redirects on the 4th while Mercury retrogrades on the 26th. All in all though, count on happy endings when Mars sparks some big changes and Venus highlights our good points around the 22nd. Hey, you only need one good point!  Scroll down for this month's full horoscope!

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ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 20)
Do pals and playtime mix this April? Ask rowdy Mars and direct jolly Jupiter to shake (or stir) your cocktail as the waves of the social swirl lap at your thighs. Gay Rams are popularity plus this month! But April fools and their money are soon parted when Mercury retrogrades on the 26th. Are you buying a pig in a poke? My advice; avoid the former, strive for the latter.

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TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY 21)
You have the pink Bull by the horns (or are YOU the pink Bull by the horns) this April when the Sun shimmies into your sign on the 21st and increases your already ample charisma. But will you put a hoof in your mouth when Mercury retrogrades on the 26th? Thank the stars that Venus shines a flattering pink light on you and Mars makes you a mover and shaker. Move and shake this pal!

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GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21)
Life is one big gay adventure when Jupiter redirects and amplifies your whispers to a shout after the 4th. As the month progresses, your missives take on even greater range, thanks to loud, proud Mars. Queer Twins can charm the masses but save your sweetest bon mots for a select few. Venus suggests that you can open more flies with honey after the 23rd.....

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CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY 23)
Expect some miscommunication among friends when Mercury redirects on the 26th. Mean while, most of April can be used to expand your professional opportunities and set plans in motion. Venus insures that they reach their intended mark after the 23rd. Pink Crabs may find that sex costs a bit more in April because of Jupiter and Mars. Are you getting your money’s worth?

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LEO (JULY 24 - AUGUST 23)
Proud Lions can regain their confidence and social dominance when Jupiter redirects on the 4th but as April advances, you may find that your surging popularity is at odds with relationship needs. Share and share alike, lover or Mars tips your loveboat on the 22nd. Generous gay Lions get to dance around the maypole next month. Stingy gay Lions have to ask “may I?”.

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VIRGO (AUGUST 24 - SEPTEMBER 23)
April starts off with a bang. Don’t let it end with a whimper, queer Virgin. The Sun stimulates your travel bug and takes you on fabulous journeys after the 21st. But retro Mercury may steer you off course after the 26th so check and recheck your itinerary. While you plan to land in Palm Springs, your bags may wind up in Scranton. Ah but do you need underwear anyway?

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LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 24 - OCTOBER 23)
Gay Libras strive for balance and harmony and most of April gives you just that. But as the Sun ambles into Taurus on the 21st and Mercury retrogrades on the 26th, diplomacy takes a back seat. You want what you want NOW! Mars and Jupiter turn up the volume and beam your plaintive, albeit incorrect message to the immediate universe. Who loves ya baby? You’ll soon see....

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SCORPIO (OCTOBER 24 - NOVEMBER 22)
Just when you thought you would be relegated to the corporate dungheap, Jupiter redirects on the 4th and plucks you from the pile. Bask in the glory while you can queer Scorp; April will deliver quite a few professional points. But, as Mercury retrogrades on the 26th, you may find that partners are bored with the endless tales of your prowess. Quit bragging and start shagging.

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SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 23 - DECEMBER 22)
Take a walk on the wilde side this April proud Archer. There is adventure around every corner when Jupiter redirects and tickles your travelling feet. Explore a few nooks and crannies. But save your best efforts for the end of the month when Mars and Venus give you a megaphone for your mania. Party on party hound; you charm the entire pack. What a change of pace!

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CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 20)
Try to be limber and flexible this April when a redirecting Jupiter offers you ample opportunity to demonstrate your acrobatic skills. Lovers come by the dozens and that ain’t bad! But beware retrograde Mercury around the 26th which has pink Caps spewing hot garlic breath on any fine romance. Hey, they say actions speak louder and prouder than words anyway.

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AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21 - FEBRUARY 19)
Aqueerians ache to make their mark this April as Mars and Venus pull you out of the chorus and onto center stage. You have an appreciative audience thanks to direct Jupiter. But refrain from gunning your motor mouth in front of assorted relations during the Mercury retrograde. There is no reason to give them a piece of your mind when they relegate it to the closet.

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PISCES (FEBRUARY 20 - MARCH 20)
While it may not sound very exciting, April offers you better working conditions and extra oomph for your in and out box. Guppies get things done thanks to direct Jupiter, can increase their earnings thanks to Venus and conquer their hidden enemies thanks to Mars. But don’t spill the beans, pal; retro Mercury puts a large foot in your kisser after the 26th. Such a sight!

(c) 2000 LICHTENSTEIN, All Rights Reserved.  For Entertainment Purposes Only.  Check out my website for egreetings, horoscopes and pride jewelry. My book, HerScopes; A Guide To Astrology For Lesbians, from Simon & Schuster is available at bookstores.

 

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